From Envy to Empathy

From Envy to Empathy

Picture this: You’re on Facebook, and you see that guy who always seemed to have it all—stellar grades, a perfect job—now struggling and jobless. I’ll admit, part of me would probably feel a bit of satisfaction. This reaction, which I’ve come to call Schneudferge, is the strange joy we take in seeing someone fall from a pedestal. It’s the flip side of gelotophobia—the fear of being laughed at. Instead, Schneudferge revels in watching others stumble.

This feeling isn't limited to our own circles. Reality TV, social media, and fail videos all thrive on showing the weakest links, pushing them toward failure for the sake of entertainment. But why do we enjoy this so much? Is it an ingrained part of human nature, or just a product of the modern media machine?

The Psychology Behind the Feeling

As Psychology Today points out, our response to others' misfortune may come from a place of insecurity:

“Once you’ve made that assessment, confide in people who truly care about you (and won’t laugh at you) about your fears. You may find out that you’ve been wrong all along and that your nearest and dearest regard you, and your possible foibles, with affection and appreciation.”

What they’re saying is simple: We often assume others are laughing at us or waiting for us to fail. But if we open up, we might discover that our closest friends and family view us with kindness, not ridicule. This realization can help us recognize how misguided it is to find satisfaction in others’ failures—because, deep down, it reflects our own fear of being laughed at.

From Envy to Empathy: Loving-Kindness Meditation

So, what’s the solution to Schneudferge? How do we break the cycle of envy and judgment? One path forward is loving-kindness meditation. This practice starts by offering yourself compassion: “May I be well. May I be safe.” Then, it extends outward to others: “May you be happy. May you be at peace.” Even those we might once have envied.

Loving-kindness meditation rewires the way we respond to others' struggles. Instead of reveling in their pain, we develop empathy. It’s not an overnight fix, but with time, this practice helps transform our responses, offering a sense of peace that’s far more lasting than the fleeting joy of someone else’s failure.